So, I was watching the Grammy Awards tonight and they announced the new category of BEST URBAN CONTEMPORARY ALBUM (BTW… congratulations Frank Ocean). And that got me thinking… Is “Urban” just the new PC term for “Black”? Can I be “Urban” even though I’m a white-ass honky? I was born in the Bronx in NYC, and have lived in both Brooklyn and Manhattan for several years, so that seems pretty damn urban, but I’m feeling like I could never qualify for this category if I ever wrote a song. What the hell does “Urban” mean? What the hell does “Urban” sound like? I lived in NYC for many years, and have spent even more time in Los Angeles – two of the largest cities in the United States – and I have no fucking idea what “Urban” sounds like. As far as I can tell, both of these cities encompass every type of music I can possibly think of, which is what makes each of them so incredibly cool. So to say something is an “Urban” album, what the hell does that mean? Are we talking about “Urban” Kansas City? “Urban” Birmingham, Alabama? So somebody help me out here… what the fuck does “Urban Contemporary Album” mean? And more importantly… Can I, as a pasty white Irish/Italian be included in this “Urban” category? Because honestly, whatever that category means, it was some of the best music of the evening. Maybe I am “Urban” and I just don’t know it. Or maybe I am “Black” and I just don’t know it. I’ve always been told I was a “black Irish” – things may all be making sense now.