WireService Breaking News…

California fell into the ocean today.  The joke about California falling into the ocean from a massive earthquake has been told so many times that nobody paid attention because they figured it was one of those fake internet things.

Reactions to the event have ranged from “Good Riddance” to “Gnarly Waves, Dude!”

The Republican Party released a statement saying, “Thank God that thorn in our side is gone.  With those perpetually-blue 172 delegates out of our way, we can finally stay in the White House indefinitely.”  A high-profile party source who preferred to remain anonymous said that sinking California was God’s way of supporting the Republican party.

In a related story, the California flag bear is being held for questioning due to suspicious circumstances of how California disconnected from the main continent and sank in the first place. The bear’s only comment was, “I’ve been on that flag for over 100 years and I haven’t seen one goddam residual check!  Fuck you!!”